Another set of apologies in advance because this one is basically all about poop. But, if you haven’t learned already, I find the subject interesting!

Poppin’ squats on the mountain

During the pandemic, I’ve taken to hiking a lot more. As part of this adventure, I have had to overcome my hesitancy and dislike for “popping a squat.” Yep, that means I’ve gotten a lot better at sneakily getting off the trail to handle my toileting business.

One of my coworkers is an avid mountain climber. We often share pictures of our hikes and climbs on Slack. As I started to get more comfortable with doing longer hikes and popping squats, it occurred to me – what does he do when he has to pee or poo on the mountain?!

I hoped our relationship would develop to the point where I could ask this question. Sadly, we’re not quite there yet. So this means it’s time for some Internet research!

It’s all about logistics

This site says you poop into a bag and pee away from the mountain. This is so you don’t poop on the other climbers and don’t dirty the mountain itself. Then, you put the poop bag in a tube and climb with it until you can properly dispose of it. I’m unclear on how you would get your pants down to poop if you’re in a harness though. And I guess at a certain height the pee just kind of turns into a vapor in the air…?

I have a Go-Girl, but I haven’t ever tried it. The logistics of using that in a harness seem too challenging. This female climber clears that up – no funnel, just pull your pants down the leg loops underneath and let it go. I guess this is why I shouldn’t trust a male climber to know what a female climber does!

From this site, it sounds like for pooping, climbers have to shimmy their pants down underneath the harness and make it work. Also, they need to get cool with pooping in front of whoever they’re climbing with.

That is a level of intimacy I’m not sure I will ever reach. And I’m ok with that.

Mount ?

But what do you do in freezing climates? That adds another dimension entirely. For freezing temps, you need pants with a rear zipper and some truly expedient pooping else your bits get frostbitten off!

Among the other challenges with increasing numbers of climbers at Mt Everest, it turns out that the amount of poop has also become a problem. One that is making people sick since people at Base Camp use melted snow for water. It sounds like because rules on human waste are lacking, the views on Everest are good, but not if you look down! (It’s all poop!)