I recently read The Memo: What Women of Color Need to Know to Secure a Seat at the Table and wanted to capture some thoughts on it.

Perhaps before I begin I should say I am not a woman of color. So why did I read the book? A few reasons:

1. Every time I read a book with career advice that says shit like – if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life – I want to methodically rip out each page of said book and use it for kindling.
   
   This type of career advice and the Lean In philosophies always felt like they came from a very privileged place. To me, they were unrealistic for what most normal folks experience in their careers. I wanted to see if this book would provide advice that was more pragmatic.
   
2. I want to create more inclusive workplaces. That means I need to understand the workplace experiences of others.
   
3. I like good career advice!

My highlights

Here are a few parts of the book that resonated with me. I recommend buying or borrowing the book for all the tips, especially if you are earlier in your career journey.

Networking, the necessary evil

I despised networking for years. The transactional nature of it was gross and disingenuous to me. Plus, as an introvert, going to an event and having to make small talk with strangers is basically my nightmare. Yet, I learned by painful experience that networking is necessary if you want to move up quickly and advance in your career. You can choose not to, but don’t be surprised if your career takes a hit because of it.

Networking includes making connections at events, meetups, LinkedIn, industry groups, schools, etc. It also includes having to network inside your company. She is 100% right that getting in front of the right people within your company and having a senior person within the company vouch for you will advance you further than just being really good at your job. You may not want to go to lunch with folks or after-work drinks. However, not doing so could impact your career. Because, unfortunately, sometimes getting ahead is just about who you know.

This is annoying as fuck for a person like me who isn’t interested in that shit and just wants to be left alone and be good at my job. However, you can find ways to network in a way that is comfortable for you. It doesn’t all have to be awkward small talk at massive events. You can attend virtual meet-ups, post on LinkedIn, join networking chat groups or forums, meet for coffee, etc.

The additional hurdles for women of color in the workplace

From the pressure over “workplace appropriate” hairstyles to judgment because of a name. Having to code-switch. The free extra labor of working on committees or employee resource groups. It’s important to remember the hurdles put in front of women of color as part of their workplace experience.

Get a career coach

It didn’t dawn on me until later in my career that navigating internal politics, knowing how to advocate for yourself, and creating a good career trajectory is hard. They are also skills. Skills that unless you are lucky people are unlikely to teach you, can take a long time to learn and can involve painful lessons.

A career coach can help you with those things. While a mentor within the company can be great, it is also valuable to have an outside perspective. A person with who you can be completely honest and who will have only your career interest in mind. A career coach helped me change my trajectory, surface my values, and pushed me to advocate for myself.

They are not inexpensive. But, if you can make it work, the value you get throughout your career will be worth it.

Let’s stop telling people to bring their whole selves to the workplace

“Bring your whole self to work.” To me, this has become the thing companies say to make people believe they are in an inclusive workplace. However, unless your “whole self” fits a certain mold and is generally “positive vibes,” your whole self is not actually welcome at work.

This book made me understand the harm of this on a totally deeper level:

Basically, companies don’t get to tell people to bring their whole selves to work when they set the rules prescribing how people have to show up.