To my bright pink sweatpants for when I’m feeling fun and playful,

To my sweatpants that have constellations on them for when I want to go full nerd and cozy up to a book,

To my ratty-ass blue sweatpants for when I just need something capable of covering my body so I can go to the laundromat,

To my black fleece-lined sweatpants for when it’s cold out and I have to run an errand and I want to look like I’m wearing real pants without having to wear real pants,

To my sweatpants that I’m not sure can truly be categorized as sweatpants and perhaps are considered “joggers” but are joggers actually anything truly different from sweatpants,

To my fashion sweatpants for when I want to attempt to feel “cool” and no you can’t tell me shit because I believe fashion sweatpants are a thing,

To my sporty Adidas sweatpants that make people ask if I just went to the gym and I say “why, yes, yes I did” (I didn’t tho)…,

To my sweatpants that I bought in a way too big size but I wear anyway because they give me the illusion that I have lost weight, and,

To the original pair of sweatpants that started the tradition of dance parties in sweatpants,

I salute thee!

You are the lifeblood of pandemic survival wear.

A functional and comfortable piece of clothing.

Suitable for most any occasion.

The End